"I dont like being alone..."

Today school was a drag. A lot of people went on some field trip and the school was somewhat lonesome. I was alone for gym and I sat by myself in lunch. I always sit by myself in supervision so that was the only place i felt okay with being alone. It felt very strange being by myself. I've never been by myself. I'm always surrounded by people. I felt bad for myself. I hope no one felt bad for me though. I would hate that. Sometimes I wish I had more friends, I wish I was nicer, I wish I was everything I'm not. But I know that's impossible. I liked being by myself the first couple of minutes but then all of a sudden I felt as if I was gonna cry. The guy that normally sits to my right. I know him. He saw that I was alone. Yet he decided to sit left of me which is much farther. I felt so alone when he did that. There's no reason to brag about it. I deserved that for my stupid behavior. I need something new in life. I cant wait until I'm out of high school. I'll be in college where people wont be immature. Somewhere I can start all over. Everything is gonna change. I promise you that.